Chemistry gone wild!

What a title.  Seriously.  You've never seen the elements like this before.

For some reason, I really liked chemistry in high school.  One of the more concrete sciences, like math.  I don't know when I changed into a balloon (free-flyer) as my friends call me now, but we will just say I was never the one getting in trouble for being out of uniform at school.  Shirt tucked in like a champ.  Add that to my list of reasons why I am still single. 

Those equations that looked something like this: H2CO3 --> H20 + CO2 --> H + HCO3 or whatever.  It's in the past, and I won't act like I can still recite good portions of the periodic table of elements or the Kreb's Cycle (which I can).  But I digress.  This is my spiritual blog. 

3 words have been running through my mind for the last 2 to 3 months.  Intentionality, fear, and worship.  I'll talk about the first two here in this paragraph.  I have met a few people through church and my small group lately that serve as inspiration for being more intentional in my faith.  To rightfully declare my intentions to God in prayer, knowing that He will be the power to complete them.  This new form of purposeful prayer has replaced the fear-driven prayers of Katie-past, where I was afraid to commit to anything in prayer for fear of quitting or failing.  Fear should never drive.  Perfect love drives out fear!

With this new lease on prayer life, I became emboldened about discussing the fearless life.  Knowing what God actually promises, and then freely going to live out in the open fields of grace and adventure.  I have been able to call out fear in friends and help them seek this intentional life as well.  As I prayed for God to allow me to serve Him among my friends, He heard me and answered me with a YES. 

Out of this new understanding of purposeful prayer/intentionality minus the fear that once reigned supreme in my conversations with God, there was a yield of courage that further yielded worship.  So, if this helps:  Intentionality - Fear --> Courage --> Workmanship + Worship

Ephesians 2:10 is a familiar scripture that follows the best description for salvation that I can identify.  If you are only focusing on how to gain eternal life, this verse may be overlooked for what it really is.  It is a very beautiful description of our Creator's intent for His children.  

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

What is workmanship?  That word always sounds like we are God's birdhouse He created in shop class.  Some of translations use words like masterpiece in place of workmanship in this verse.  Another interesting translation of this word is poetry.  When you break down the idea of being a poem, you can see why this has some great applications. 

Poetry is creative.  It has a beginning and an end.  Poems have a common theme with several stanzas of supportive language.  And poetry has rhythm.  Being the stellar dancer and music-lover that I am, I can appreciate that God keeps good tempo.  When we ask God for clarity in our lives, oftentimes, He will enlighten us with by offering all the pieces of the answer in different locations in daily life. 

Every notice common phrases, verses, ideas occurring multiple times in a given week?  You pick up on a message in your time with God.  Then, a friend texts you with a similar piece of encouragement.  A church message runs with it too.  Don't shrug off these commonalities!  God has meaning to the repetition.  Take it for what it is - an incredible lesson in just one stanza of our life song.

I know how to abound!

As vivid an imagination as I like to think I possess, I am unable find the proper words to describe the type of crazy person I may have become this week.  So here are a couple metaphors to assist:

1. If my job security had been a Disney character, it would've been Aladdin's carpet [being pulled out from under me].
2. If the challenge of expediting college transcripts was a UNICEF World Heritage Site, it would be comparable to [running full speed toward] the Great Wall of China.
3. If my financial security was a comic strip, it would've been that scene in Peanuts where Linus is bopping along with his blue blankie, sucking his thumb.  Snoopy snatches the end of the it and starts running around in circles.  Linus is just holding on to blankie for dear life, finding himself airborne at times.

What my former church-ianity self may have prayed, perhaps after having a little hiccup in "The Plan" would've sounded similar to this:

"Dear Jesus (or journal - those words may have been interchangeable back then), Thy will be done here as in heaven.  Zzz.. Lord, I pray that BlahBlah would be used for your purposes.  Help me to be kind as You are kind, Lord.  Zzz.. And please forgive me for Blah, Blah, and Blah.."

I have found myself at a new level of friendship with my Savior in recent years.  Here is the raw, partially edited conversation I have been having with Him as of late:

"God, I'm a crazy person.  That's no secret.  Messes don't come much hotter than this.  I believe you love me, and right now, I'm gonna really need you to remind me how that is enough when I can't seem to get a single win on earth.  I really don't like myself for the way I presently feel about my boss (and whoever that heinous person is in the GWU Registrar's office who is clearly holding my transcripts hostage).  The fact that I haven't found their Achilles heel is bugging the crap out of me.  And now please forgive me for all the vengeful plots I have devised for them both.  And for calling someone heinous.  That was rude, I guess.  Help me to truly love them like you love them, because right now, I think they both deserve a 10 year prison sentence with possible parole only after 6 months in an orange jumpsuit.  I am determined to keep my trust in You because clearly I am not in a place where I can make any sort of good judgment call on my own."

Not gonna lie.  I feel a little uneasy letting people in on my nutjob prayer with God.  I usually ramble a little more in it too, but I spared my audience.  No one was supposed to know any of that!  But I believe that if we as believers are called to be holy, we cannot breeze over the parts of Scripture that talk about confessing our sins one to another.  And I am so thankful for the friends who have been texting me, emailing me, praying for me, reminding me that God is so much bigger than this stupid crap.  Sending me encouraging Scripture.  Reminding me how much more interesting my book of memoirs will be when I am old. 

For them, I write today to encourage those who read this to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading to build up another.  Because in this messy week of uncertainty, God showed me even more truth about His providence.  I mean, yeah, I could've been able to go about business as usual.  Live life on the grid.  But where's the fun in that?  So many people who allowed God to use them for His glory were reaching out to make sure I didn't end up in a straight jacket.  Those are some stellar friends.  I even have some of the layout of a story (short or novel, depending on my attention span) that I want to now write.  Had I been bogged down with all that 'job stuff,' my creative flow would've been utterly stifled ;) 

So as Paul described in his letter to the Philippians, I am learning to THRIVE in the what-on-earth-is-going-on times in life!

Love is Patient

I was sitting in a worship service tonight at American University, and I am so thankful to God for guiding me to this particular event.  I usually work on Tuesdays, and by the time I get home, I am so exhausted that all I want to do is binge fridge-side and then pass out.  Occasionally, I will grab a couple items from the refrigerator and partake over the adjacent counter-space.  But the plate concept is far too much prep-work by the time I get home from a 12-13h shift.  Like a gas tank on E.  But I digress.

So tonight was the study of God's patience.  One of the first passages was found in Luke 22 - tracking with Peter through his enthusiasm as a disciple of Jesus and then finding himself at the point of denying he even knows the guy.  Jesus, all the while, is praying for Simon Peter, patiently smoothing out his sharp edges.

Agape love encompasses patience, and the Holy Spirit guides us through the Word of God that we may know Him.  He delights in us from the beginning, dirty and shameful, and by His patience, He receives the glory as we are transformed to His likeness.

Jesus gave Simon the name Peter (petra) during His ministry time.  Peter probably did not understand all that this name would mean until years after Jesus has ascended to heaven.  Peter, meaning rock, was not just to describe his brawny arms and masculine beard, which I am 99% sure he had.  God knew that even after all the mayhem that Simon Peter caused, he would still be the rock on top of which our church was built.  Through all the trials that Jesus endured for Peter, his patience was rewarded with start of the church, the bride!