Making all my intentions known

I have decided to be more INTENTIONAL in 2013.  Just the decision alone is a move in the right direction, and it feels so great to cross something off my to-do list.  Sometimes, I'll even write tasks on my list that I've already done, just so I have something to cross off.  Who's successful in life?  This girl.

But the day-to-day completion of tasks and duties pales in comparison to the acknowledgement of how they bring us to the ends.  My job.  My love life.  My social scene.  Keeping an eternity focus should drive my decisions for daily life.  In grad school research, I learned that this is called my conceptual framework.  Through that framework, the reader sees how and why the author concludes x, y, and z.  For how much school debt I accrued to learn about conceptual frameworks, I INTEND to pedal that term into as many conversations as I can.

How well will I perform my job today?  I can do what is asked of me.  Assess my patients.  Chart on the computer just how normal/abnormal they are.  Give them some pills.  Fluff their pillow.  It's not against any law.  I won't get in trouble.  I won't lose my job.  My patients [probably] won't die.  (That last statement is affirming that I understand my limitations in providing care and cannot pretend to be God).  Common denominator being all the negatives in this conceptual framework.  Who actually wants to live by the principle of avoidance?  If we are to name this demon in our lives, we might call it fear.  I refuse to see my daily life through lenses of fear.  And more often than not, this comes about when we fail to be intentional.  Don't fail any longer.

If God is putting one of His children into my care, I want to discern that this bestowal is from God and move in a way pleasing to Him.  In the same way, I want to find myself honoring Him in all areas of my life through intentionality.  I INTEND to build strong friendships with other believers and also meet a godly man to serve alongside, if God wills it.  By glorifying God through fellowship in the body, these ends may be accomplished.

Very few characters in the Bible use vague language about what they hope maybe they can do for God.  Most often, you will see men and women of God proclaiming what they are already doing or will do.  The Holy Spirit teaches us what to say.  Saying it to God helps us seal it in our own minds.  CS Lewis said, "I don't pray to change God.  I pray to God because it changes me."  Because of what Christ did on the cross, we are called to pray with certainty that what the Spirit leads us to say, God will bring about.  The words of our Spirit-led prayers transform US.  The authors write with assurance that God is the Finisher of our faith. 

Look at King David.  "Bless the Lord, O my soul."  If you like grammar as much as I do, you will note that David is using a direct address.  If you don't like grammar, here's what that means (but really, how do people not like grammar): 

He is INTENTIONALLY telling his own soul to bless the Lord! 

That fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139) body and soul is commanded by David to bless God.  Make my prayer to be no different than David's.

Wear this, not that

I am so grateful that God sends His Spirit to enlighten His people, time and again.  In those times where God does not feel present, pray pray pray that you will know His presence!  That we may move from the expectations to FEEL toward the joy of KNOWING is one of the greatest triumphs we might experience here on this earth. Paul compared everything in his life to the joy of KNOWING God (Phil 3:8) - and he called it all horse s*** (or some other similarly crass term).  King James blushed and just called it rubbish, but we all know Paul was not a shy author.

We will not always feel His presence, but we know He promises that He will never forsake us (Heb 13:5)
We will not always feel like attending a church service, but we know He deserves praise, and praise is commonly found in corporate worship (practically... all of the Psalms)
We will not always feel that God is fairly treating the poor, but we know that a sparrow does not escape the concern of God (Matt 10:29)
We sometimes may feel that we are strong and independent, denying our need for a Savior.  But we had better know that this feeling is fleeting - to realize that He is life.  He is our oxygen.  He is the abundant life!

That people may not see the need of a Savior is an honest reality in our modern world, and as Christians, we had better know a response to this very important question of need.  It is not difficult to know the cause of war when the enemy presents itself clearly, and I may not feel that indifference is a threat to the Truth.  When my enemy looks to be a peaceful human being not looking to duel, I am going to look like a real punk if I begin sparring with him - using my Sword of the Spirit.  You say, 'En garde,' and he makes no attempt to draw any recognizable weapon.  If we examine this situation, might we conclude that his shield and his demeanor are now to be his weapon of choice?  Or the onlooker who perceives an attack on a defenseless individual.  Does he use this as a weapon?  Or my fear of being shamed.  He can use ME as a weapon against ME.  Like swinging them around by their own ponytail!

I cannot express in words how difficult our calling to fight for Truth in the event of indifference.  In our post-modern society, our enemy has changed His tactics.  Why are we still wearing red coats, like a bunch of targets?  Was that EVER the attire God told us to wear?  Our real battle gear is described fully in Paul's letters to the Ephesians in chapter 6.  I mean, look at this uniform.  It's genius.

1. You've got a Belt of Truth - going to battle with the correct information, motive, and against the true enemy
2. Breastplate of Righteousness - onlookers may see your preceding and current good works and glorify God (Mt 5:16)
3. Shoes fitted by the readiness that comes from the Gospel of Peace - because no crosstrainer shoe can compete with their agility. 
4. Shield of Faith - a firm belief that God will do what He promises, blocking attacks against you from all angles.  Sidenote: if I am in fellowship with other believers, our shields can now join to provide even more coverage
5. Helmet of Salvation - covering your head, because clearly you need one to sustain life
6. Sword of the Spirit (which is the Word of God) - know God's Word by reading your Bible and listening to the Holy Spirit.  Satan knows the Word too.  So know it well enough to determine when he has manipulated what it really says.  
7. And constant prayer!

We, as Believers, must now examine the new rules of engagement to know how to strike - remembering that we are still battling against the same enemy (Satan) and not the human being in need of God's love (Ephesians 6:12).

Juliet's question revisited

Tonight's church service has my brain in a bit of a frenzy.  This post may contain more questions than statements.  I'm not ok with that, but I believe it's where I will have to start to eventually answer the questions.

Our campus pastor was speaking about the magnificence of God.  He used the vast nature of the universe to contrast the finite nature of man.  Ultimately, it was to highlight just how we should humbly accept our connection to God.  It's really a wonder He invests in humans.  We're small.. We die..We really are pretty insignificant insofar as size and longevity are concerned.

Stars on the other hand.  Stars.  Wow.  Apparently, the latest science believes there to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 70 sextillion stars in the known universe.  That's 1 seven and 22 zeros.  And stars are not small creations.  I mean, really.  The sun - star.  If I was a Hollywood celebrity, I would feel a little ridiculous, parading around, being called a star.  My record goes platinum.  Wonderful.  The sun can burn at my retinas from 93 million miles away.  Don't bother googling that distance.  I got this.

Now here is where my ADD took me on a ma...gical journey in my seat.  Those 70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars all have names.  Isaiah 40:26 tells us that God brings them out one at a time and calls them each by name.  And verse 12 tells us that all those named stars fit within the span of His hand.  My mind was blown just now.  But now, this question remains.  Why is it even necessary to name them?  To name anything?

So, my search begins.  But this one thing I know: Capulets, Montagues, Renshaws - He know our names as well. 

Prayer Anew

I just got home from Singapore on Saturday night.  My body still hates me for the torment of 11 time zones.  But... being up at 4:40 this morning, the only other soul awake at this hour is God.

O satisfy us in the morning with Your loving kindness,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. (Psalm 90:14)

In some form or another, I try to pray the Lord's Prayer every morning.  I modernize the language a little and speak slowly - to make sure I pay attention to what I am saying.  In no way do I ever want my prayers to be mindless droning before the Creator of the Universe.  (distant second is when I pledge allegiance to the US flag and my mind is wandering toward lunch - awkward).

The parts in the prayer about "Thy will be done" are pretty easy to say with emphasis.  I mean, yeah, of course that's the goal.  I realize that turning over my s***storm of a life to an omniscient God is a pretty good idea.  And also the part about "daily bread" - uh huh uh huh, I want that too.  "Lead me not into temptation" - please.  I don't need any more of that.

The part that has been made new to me as of late is the closing statement.  I have always treated it as I do the closing remarks of a letter.  Sincerely.  Yours Truly.  Affectionately Yours.  KIT.  xoxo.  Meaning that I ignored it.  But wow, if I pray those last 3 descriptive nouns with a higher level of intentionality, my mind is blown.  CS Lewis said it pretty well:

"I don't pray to change God.  I pray to God because it changes me."

Yours is the Kingdom - meaning that it was God who established reign before the prince of darkness, and He will reign supreme through eternity

Yours is the Power - anything that God calls me to accomplish must be done by His strength

Yours is the Glory - because ultimately, in living in His Kingdom and acting by His Power are for His directives to be proclaimed.  His Word.  His Name. His Will.

Thank you, Lord, for speaking through your children..

"The more clearly we learn to recognize that the ground and strength and promise of all our fellowship is in Jesus Christ alone, the more serenely shall we think of our fellowship and pray and hope for it." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I absolutely love this book LIFE TOGETHER by Bonhoeffer where the above is quoted.  I honestly don't know why I've never finished it.  I have gotten to that final chapter like three times, and then sort of assumed that I got the main message and set it aside.  I'm a quitter.  Seriously.  I have countless other books on my shelves that are all mostly read.  I don't know how the suspense never kills me.  But there it is, plain a simple. I start strong and lose steam.

It is because of this realization that I am able to accurately attribute any completion in my life to God Himself.  It is not without fervent prayer that I continue to follow God's path for my life.  And as of late, I am being reminded of the importance of FELLOWSHIP in our walk.  I recently shared my struggle to finish anything with my good friend Erin.  We started as acquaintances, and by the providence of God Almighty, we moved to becoming prayer partners, close friends, running buddies, and SO much more.  God doesn't make mistakes.  He knew I needed someone like Erin who is so on-point with getting stuff done, and I only hope that I am able to return the many acts of service and friendship she has given me in these last several months we've been 'friending'. 

My mind has been so clouded by my to-do lists, future plans, politics (yeah, yeah), and other miscellaneous fun-suckers lately.  And I all of a sudden became very aware of how far I felt from my Creator.  I had forgotten Him along the way, and at that moment, I was ashamed for the way I could drop my bestie so easily.  I recounted times when He and I had been so close.  When I was waking up at 4:45am to meet with Him.  Times when I had stepped out in faith, only to fall into the loving grip of the Almighty.  The complacency is more than I can stand.  How do I return to that place of light and joy and adventure and fearless obedience?  How did I get to this gray place?

And no sooner does this realization happen, and God is SO faithful to meet us right at the place we cry to Him!  In this particular instance, He did it through His people.  A friend after church, a co-worker, another friend who is really hurting right now in every possible way.  I'm awake in my bed, snoozing my alarm this morning at 5:40am, and my co-worker Jamie texts me to ask where in the Bible I'm reading this morning.  OK!  I'm up!  And then my girlfriend Bethany sends a note of encouragement to remind me of places in the day when I can be considering God - in the metro, in the SBUX line, in the bathroom (for real!).

Thank you, Lord, for sending your Holy Spirit to speak to us and through us!  Your Truth is spread through the work of your children, and I am a reaper of this harvest.  It is my joy to also serve You by speaking your truths to others.  I will continue to exclaim your goodness to those around me who need to hear from You - to those who are hurting, those who have prayed for understanding, those who need healing, those who want to share in the inexplicable peace of knowing You!

Why would you ever want to take us back?

I ponder love as You speak through song

Amid countless times I get it wrong

Saving all of myself to offer You

Learning only forgiveness, kindness, truth.

You seek the face I mean to hide

And know the features and all the lines

You recall not the shamefulness found in this life

And suffered to take away plagues of the mind.

 

All those who come to tell the great lies

Your hand in mine still coincides

No fear, as it was driven away

No sorrow for my past mistakes.

My own penned words cannot profess

My delight in my own loneliness

For You’re radiant warmth reminds me still

The promise of my all wounds to heal.

The chill of the sea will soon be gone

Safe passage then to take us home

To be new, to be free, to be lovely and whole

O, great victory to come!  You have rescued our souls!

I couldn't wait to get back to my computer to write all this down.  Here I am running on a treadmill, doing my thing, when the magnificence of God comes triumphantly through my iPhone.  Steve Jobs and the Hoover dam could not have withstood the river of excellence that reached my ears. 

I have been battling back and forth for years with the debates over the appropriate nature of church music in our worship.  Is too many bells and whistles a distraction?  Is the concert feel taking away from intimate proclamation of my love to my Savior?  All very serious questions worth the asking.

Worship takes many attitudes - humility, compassion, joy, and sorrow to name just a few.  And earthly worship is very often done out of obedience only.  The feeling of lightheartedness is not often the main emotion in my worship.  Quite rarely, in fact.  There are many more times when I come with a heavy life burden, as if there is a brick wall preventing penetration of my heart.  In those times, I worship God in song out of obedience because I still believe the words of the song.  I just don't have the physical joy.

But I believe that when we get to heaven in the End Times, and we see God, all the debates about loud or soft, instruments or acapella, co-ed or same sex - these will all vanish.  Instead, I will be surrounded with the sound of thousands of instruments all in one accord, voices unable to be silenced, all praising the Creator and Savior King.